Rapturous Rajni.....

Rajnaikant…the name says it all! From the macho bollywood mastan to a much adorable Robot or a outrageous deccan Shivaji…he sweeps the dust from all the zone to just harbinger himself as the Mater of the Masters…a true SUPERHERO without wearing his undie over the pants!! Here is a jokes-collection which may seem to be somewhat cliché but some are really funny and clean-cut. I am not that much into Rajni-jokes as I find them typically HIM…but then listening to these trite gags sometimes debugs the bromides in me! For the pure fun…please read on…

If the great Rajni would have been born in India about 150 years back...........then Britishers would have fought for independence.

Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

The genius as an Engineer!!

Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!

Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !!

When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”

Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!!

The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!

Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.

Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.

1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant”

Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”.

Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing the bell. Today that child is known as CID inspector DAYA.

Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession

Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant”

Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

When you search Rajini in google, what does google say?
"I'm Feeling Lucky" !

The ice age ended when Rajnikant lost his cool.

Rajnikant knows Victoria's secret.

One day Rajnikant had some stomach problem, that day we witnessed Bhopal Gas Tragedy.

When you search Rajini in google, what does google say?
"I'm Feeling Lucky" !

Rajanikanth can kick a man in his soul.

Rajanikath can cough, sneeze and laugh "all at the same time".

Once Rajnikant was on the hot seat of KBC....
And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it!

Time waits for no one, except, Rajni.

There is no such thing as Evolution; it’s just a list of the creature Rajni allowed to live!

Rajnikant can be dived by ZERO!

Rajni can judge a book by it’s cover!

Mr. Reddy was compelled!!

Rajni can Delete the Recycle Bin!

Rajnikant has counted the Infinity, twice!

Chuck Norris once met Rajnikant; the RESULT: He was reduced to a joke on the internet!

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until
Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes
the element of surprise.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives
in Chennai.

Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs
of life there.

Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The
result? Mother Teresa.

The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do
it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to
the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered
Rajinikant"

Once Rajni was practicing spelling; the scrap shits are now known as the Oxford Dictionary! 

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling
cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating
pain, the cobra died.

Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs

an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide

the reaction.

Rajnikanth's email address is gmail@rajnikanth.com

Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!

The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars.

While playing once rajnikanth said "statue" to a girl..now its know as "Statue of Liberty (Rajni forgot to tell her that he was just playing)!!

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.... he turns the dark off.

Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE.

Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don't bother…

Disclaimer:
The following article does not mean to harm the feelings or sentiments of neither Rajnikant nor his huge fan following across the globe. On other hand few of these can turn out to be innovative ideas for his upcoming releases!

NB: Rajnikant is ill and now off to Singapore for further treatment; We just hope he may prove his super-natural yet humbly human power to be true this time and the time to come...Get well soon the Master!!

The 7 Wonders of and around my life...!!

So wonderfully I rediscovered the wonders those are taking place in my daily life. They often ridicule me; they make me laugh; they make me think in some distinct manners…way around; but they are solely the ingredients that I’m made up of.


So here are The Seven Wonders ‘of’ and ‘around’ My Life:

1) My friends: I often get confused thinking that how much enemies my friends are on the other side! They laugh with me, cry with me, drink with me, sing and dance with me…and yeah they do push me to the void and let me know that ‘honey we are here to help you…always’! Yes…they are my FRENIMIES and I just Love ‘em!

2) My ‘HE-MAN’ (or ‘BAIRI PIYA’?:p): Now it’s a serious business. It’s the ugliest fact of my life that ‘yes I am in love with an illusion…’, an illusion of a thesis paper of ‘Maturity’ ‘Mental stability’ and ‘logical analysis of situational volatility’. My extraordinary-superlative ‘He-Man’ must excuse those torrents of consequences of his acute lucidity towards the ‘wretched-minor-abject’ that is ‘my density’…!

3) My ‘getting accustomed to the word ‘Shit’: It’s a real fun filled wonder! Whenever there’s a good thing happens in my life…some ‘Good Sayers’ start saying…’oh shit! How come she!’ ‘Oh shit! Its ridiculous’…and whenever the good things are stored to the corners of other people…I tell myself ‘oh shit it happened’!!!

4) My morning blues: Each morning I’m waking up with the surety of having a good day indeed! And trying to spend the whole day with almost no serious business but around the DINNER time I’m realizing that my day has actually gone BLUE with lots of arduous missions which have sank down as some mere obligations! Poor ME...phew!

5) I’m being a REAL WOMAN :p : Wow…wow…wow…I’m actually being a woman…real woman! I’m dressing like a woman; I’m eating like a woman; I’m talking like a woman too! It’s a genuine wonder…in fact! [ BTW…I’ve always tried to see MEN as MEN…do girls see the same way?? :p ]

6) My book shelves: No I’m not really a book worm…that’s for sure! But what all I want is to keep the books delightfully ‘warm’ :D . Two of my bulky book shelves are spilling over; my bed doesn’t give me enough space to seat (forget sleeping here!); the table-chair duo is looking mercilessly for letting ‘em shouldering such colossal burden; the floor under the bed is gasping in agony and still holding a huge amount of books again…and I’m Still Buying and Getting Books!

7) Oh man after all these wonderful ‘wonders’ of my poor life…I’m still in mood to write up all such craps…ain’t it be considered as the Greatest Wonder??

WEIGHTY PETTING

So someone has already liked it and posted his valuable comment on it too and the other one became the follower….wow great achievement honey-bunny (if only I could pat on my back!!)..! So guys I am now thinking about giving you some different taRkas….and here they are…’chhapang’!



So guys how many pets do you have?? 1, 2...or more than these... (I hope u guys are not managing some zoos :p !!)? Yes I do possess one too…the cutest, sweetest, humblest, the most appealing, most talented, and the most versatile pet one could have and that’s my NOKIA 3600C…yes yes I know what u gonna tell…yup you people do have too…some have Samsung…some call them Hallo Moto…some prefer LG and bla bla bla! But lemmie know…how often do you feel like having a pet when you use your all-rounder care-taker? Well I always feel it! I start sensing it when it begins to bark with a road-side Romeo voice to filch my heart and trance together and make me return to this wild world safe and sound (oh how romantic!!). The morning table feels me with some warm ecstasies and my pretty pet starts being catty and keeps meowing with its affectionate vibrations in mode of some ‘good morning’ messages. HOW FUNNY! Well…as morning shows the day my sweetheart continues following me…and the poor ‘I’ never gets the chance to escape… :(

So its afternoon and my darling now wants me to feed it…wow a thin-long-black pipe to dish up the food…how exciting!! And see how it’s devouring…peep peep peep…beep beep beep…oh seems the stomach is full! And now its time to have some nap honey…so it calls off the calls and begs me to let it have a SILENT SIESTA…thank Gawd I got a break too! So guys I start doing my own work…yes my own work! But how could I ponder on…as my eyes keep rolling over my sleeping beauty! It was sleeping…but I was restless…


During the evening my life runs like a mail train…some works are boarding on…some are depleting. SS (it’s the ellipsis of ‘Support System’ which is my pet’s ‘pet-name’…sorry guys I forgot to mention it before) keeps howling…barking…ridging…whistling…growling…and busy ‘I’ just dart with my works and the hanky-panky of SS…sometimes giggling with it…sometimes tickling it out and sometimes just listening to what its telling!

The twilight welcomes the night gently and SS becomes tired-drained out and of course famished…it was conveying its fatigue by flashing dimly. But I didn’t notice it somehow…I was too busy satisfying my own appetite. I enter my room, took the bed and engrossed in a book blissfully. It was mid night…all of a sudden I realized that SS is hushed, so unlikely…I just dived over my table and found my pet sleeping completely off! How cruel I am…then I provided with its food pipe…it was having its meal…the much delayed meal…SILENTLY!

Phata Pajama

Of late I am suffering from Inquisitive Pokomania (guys don’t dare to ask me the meaning…just read on okay!!) and the jabs are as follows:



My Curiosity Course No.1:
Heroes of the ‘bollywood filums’ are getting new and unusual jobs. Remember Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna Aay Hasinon…he was a game software developer; Abhishek Bacchan in Dostana...Was a male nurse!! Oh how extraordinarily they first broke the wall of their Colleges and then poked into their Daddy darlings’ wallets to increase the numbers of Indian Multimillionaires! Bored boys then decided to do something unusual. Well that’s fascinating indeed! So the brave boys are coming forward (noh noh...no Punjab Electricity Board clerk is living behind)!

My Curiosity Course No.2:
Shilpa Shetty’s Big-Fat-wedding proves that Marriage is the Last Option while ‘off the bench’! And getting engrossed in the Cricket might be the 2nd last…aah ha! Mrs. Rai Bacchan...doya have anything to say...I mean Crick...Crick...Cricket Team...watsay??

My Curiosity Course No.3:
SACHIN…the new avatar of ‘Bolo Bharat Mata ki Jai…’! So the perfect gentle man and the powerhouse of Indian Cricket has come to bat for The Nation and guess what (sorry guys no prize for guessing here!) the bowler is none other than Thacker sa’ab! The stadium is brimming with the noise-makers and the common public is still in dilemma whether it’s a test match or just a 20-20 (one days are obsolete in the Great Indian Tamasha Show...dont you know?)!